


Hear Me Cry: Come Home

by rufferto



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Happy Ending, Incest, M/M, Romance, Thorki - Freeform, dubcon, slight dubcon, soft, spoilers: endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-02-07 07:58:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18616447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rufferto/pseuds/rufferto
Summary: Loki finally decides to come home after many years of running away and ALMOST messes it up.





	Hear Me Cry: Come Home

**Author's Note:**

> The dubcon doesn't actually go anywhere and it's very mild

Loki watched Thor with a heavy sigh. He looked up and down the soft folds and curves and studied every inch of the results of years of self-destruction and wallowing. Seeing him as he was stirred a throbbing in Loki’s cock he never fully understood. He’d been coming here for some time now, watching, wondering if there was ever going to be a moment where he could come home. For home was not Asgard. Home was where Thor was. It always had been and it always would be no matter how hard Loki tried to stop it from being the case.  He had whispered a spell that would make Thor stay sleeping. It was all part of his ritual visit since escaping with the Tesseract and working it out so that he could be in two places at once. That’s how he’d fooled everyone. Even Thanos.

Once a month. Sometimes more. Sometimes every day when the pain of being alone got too hard, he would visit Thor over the years.

Loki reached to touch Thor’s forehead and brush away the thick dreadlocks, making a face at how course the golden strands felt under his fingers and yet groaned at how much he craved the feeling anyway. Thor’s hair, slipping through his fingers, was still Thor’s hair regardless of the state it was in. He swallowed back a choked sound. The spell remained in effect and Thor slept soundly. Loki’s nose wrinkled as the stale smell of beer made his nostrils flare in annoyance.  
  
He took one of his sleeping brother’s hands and entwined their fingers. Thor’s hands had always been large, and he didn’t find anything different about them.  “Brother if you could only know how sorry…” he clicked his tongue. He wasn’t sorry. He’d done what he’d done out of malice and revenge. He’d acted from terrible jealousy but he wasn’t sorry.

Loki kissed the dirty smudges on the back of Thor’s hand. “If only…” He sighed.

Each day that passed, each year, Thor hat gotten worse and worse and Loki didn’t know what would help him.

Surely not the return of the brother who had betrayed him and escaped death again.

Surely not.

Loki’s resolve faltered when Thor’s fingers curled around his.  He flicked his gaze up to Thor’s eyes to ensure that he was still sleeping. He breathed a sigh of relief then stiffened as small plaintive sound escaped from his elder brother’s beer stained lips.  It was a word mumbled from a dream or a nightmare, a desperate pleading sound that wrenched at Loki’s soul.  It was the one thing that could and did shatter his brave façade.

“…Loki…”

He felt foolish and awkward, he shouldn’t be here.  The misery in Thor’s voice was truly the most awful thing that Loki had ever heard.  That single drunken plea that he should not be privy to echoed in his brain and bounced around mercilessly. It pounded at his carefully constructed walls and demanded to be let in. It teased his sensitive memories and dredged up old fragile feelings he’d been certain were long gone and forever buried. It was hard to just remember his own name.

When he finally collected himself Thor was sleeping peacefully again, his fingers were slack against Loki’s and he was safe from discovery again.

He could not risk it. It was too dangerous. He could not reveal himself.

The spell was fragile and once Thanos had killed his other self he was but a shadow figure, a coward, hiding behind illusions and guilt. He had travelled far away to put as much distance between himself and Thanos as he possibly could.  As long as Thanos lived, his life would never be his own.  When Thanos was finally gone, Loki had felt his death with great satisfaction. He was free now but he still couldn’t go home so he returned to Midgard.

How could he face Thor with another betrayal?

Loki gazed down at Thor’s lips, still to find in spite of that massive, messy beard. He would need to do something about that. He longed to kiss Thor, to prostrate himself at his brother’s feet and beg forgiveness but pride wouldn’t let him reveal himself. Pride and fear and a strong sense of self-preservation.

He traced Thor’s brow with his fingers and wrinkled his nose again at the smell. Thor desperately needed a bath. He sighed and wanted to do so much more. Maybe he could? He frowned and nodded to himself. He couldn’t leave without something. It was too hard these days. He brushed at Thor’s eyebrows and gently shook him sort of to a half-awake state.

“Loki?” Thor’s eyes drooped. He knew it was impossible. Loki was dead and he was drunk.

Loki chose that opportunity to kiss Thor to silence him and climbed onto the bed. “Shh, this is a dream,” Loki whispered.

“A good dream,” Thor mumbled, shifting his bulk.

Loki was nearly unbalanced by that movement, he wasn’t used to Thor being the way he was. It didn’t matter. He couldn’t help himself, he needed this. He needed Thor. He brushed his fingers through Thor’s hair and beard, trying to tame the tangled mess. “It’s been a long time.” He whispers.

“Too long. I’ve missed you, brother.” Thor responds sluggishly.

“Remember the last time?” Loki asked, climbing on top of Thor. He tugged at the belt that held up Thor’s loose pants and frowned when his hand was stayed.

“I remember,” Thor whispered. “I was much different then.”

“Still Thor,” Loki batted Thor’s hand away. “Let me see you.”

“You may not like what you see.” The words were only murmured half-heartedly. Thor was still half asleep and drunk.

Loki pulled Thor’s shirt up, “You mean this?” He kneaded Thor’s belly with this thumb.   “Nonsense, it’s never been the only reason I desired you.”

Thor gave a soft whimper as his pants were pushed down and his cock brought to life. “Loki,” he rasped, “let me touch you.”

Loki waved his clothes away with a flick of his hand. Magic, a very useful thing to have. “I’m here,” whispered Loki.  

There were touches and more. Loki whimpered.  His resolve to stay hidden for until it was safe faded as he was worshipped by his brother’s hands. He had a hard time keeping his balance but he managed, holding on to Thor, kissing and teasing. Thor frowned after a while, clearly becoming coherent as things progressed. “Loki?” He shuddered as he tried to focus.

“Shhh,” Loki tutted softly, “you’ll wake your friends.”

“Mmm,” Thor closed his eyes as Loki coaxed his cock to life. He was always good at it, the best. No one knew his body better. His mind still felt like cheese, all soft and gooey and clouded with drink. What a beautiful thing it would be to have his brother back. To have Asgard back. His home.

“Thor, do you want to do this with me?” Loki paused, suddenly feeling like maybe this wasn’t the best idea he ever had. Thor wasn’t in his right mind but he would remember.

“More than anything,” Thor mumbled, “don’t stop, Loki.”

Loki didn’t ask any other questions. He’d heard what he wanted to hear. He prepared, slicking two long fingers with oil because Thor wasn’t in any state to do anything that required coordination. He was ready as he would ever be with Thor jiggling and moaning under him. He was fascinated with the new, less perfect version of his brother.

When they were growing up on Asgard, Thor was always the one who was invincible, infallible. He was the god, the warrior and the King. Now? He was still all those things, but he was broken and defeated. Loki felt a stirring in his gut, he loved Thor now more than he ever had. He had faults. He wasn’t perfect anymore. Loki didn’t feel inferior and he loved it. He loved the feel of curves instead of hard muscles. He could hold on to Thor now. He didn’t mean in a physical sense but they were equals. Thor still had power coursing through his veins but he was no longer far beyond Loki’s reach.  He was down on a level Loki could match. A level Loki could understand and relate to. He’d been through pain and trauma. Anguish. Loss.

Their kisses gradually gained intensity and Loki worried that Thor would truly wake. He settled onto Thor’s cock like he’d done it a thousand times. It was something he knew, something he craved more than he was willing to admit. It was something he thought he had gotten over but never had. And even now he still wanted it, still wanted Thor. The problem was that Thor wasn’t able to respond in the way Loki wanted, the way he yearned for.  

He cursed himself for thinking this was a good idea, for surrendering to base needs when he had fought them for so long. It took every ounce of his self-control to come to a decision. It couldn’t be like this, not their first time in too many years. Thor was gazing at him in a half-stupor, expecting him to start moving, his trusting eyes filled with soft hope.

Loki froze, regret smacking him squarely in the face. He stared down at Thor, stunned at the inner revelation that was churning in his gut. He couldn’t do it. He slid off Thor’s cock and before his confused brother could do anything he waved a hand and Thor went back to sleep. He panted, chest heaving, body still alive with sexual need. He cursed himself for a fool. He should take what he wanted. He should not feel like this.

Loki scowled at the sleeping man as he pulled out a knife. He wasn’t in love anymore. He hadn’t been in love with Thor for ages! He had gotten over that! He sighed and brought the back of his hands to his forehead and stifled a sob.  Thor would never forgive him. It was impossible. He had run away when Thor needed him the most.

Unfortunately, he couldn’t bring himself to leave as he had many times before.

He was lonely and he needed Thor.

Loki sat down on the floor of the grubby room and wrapped his arms around his knees, still holding the knife. His hand shook and he fought tears. He strove to keep himself together.

Thor was home, he needed to be home again.

Loki sat there, filled with dread at every passing moment. He should flee. He waved a hand and Thor’s pants redid themselves. He remembered he had no clothes on and remedied that. He gulped and hiccupped, tiny sounds that just seemed to lodge in his throat and stick there.

Time slid by and the sun threatened to rise with Loki still rooted to the spot on the floor.

The sun would peak over the horizon and Thor would wake soon.

Loki jumped at the sound of movement outside. The people of New Asgard were starting to go about the business of the day. He scoffed at the name. Nothing would replace Asgard and this world was a paltry one. Hardly worthy to be the home of the gods.

He’d been staring so long at the window he didn’t notice that Thor had indeed risen from his deep sleep until it was too late.

Thor gazed at him from the couch he had passed out on the day before, blinking tired, bloodshot eyes. He smacked his lips and sat up.

The motion startled Loki and he whipped his head back to Thor with a soft yelp.

Thor picked up a beer can from the floor and the couch groaned under his weight. He eyed Loki in disbelief and checked to make sure the beer was empty, tapping a few drops into his mouth. He closed his eyes and opened them again.

Loki stayed where he was, trembling. He held his knife with a death grip. His knuckles turned white.

Thor tossed the beer can at Loki and when it bounced off him he gasped.

“Wait Thor…” Loki didn’t have time to scramble to his feet when Thor surged up and charged at him.  The knife clattered to the floor as Loki was lifted and tightly wrapped in a giant hug. “Thor!...” He gasped, fingers clenching the dirty shirt Thor wore. “Thor.. can’t breathe…”

“Loki…” Thor’s words were wrenched from his heart.  “It is you.” He croaked. “It is you.” He put his hand on Loki’s neck and relaxed his grip a little but still held me.

“It’s me,” Loki whimpered. “It’s me.”

“You… you shit. You’re alive!”  Thor’s hands rested on Loki’s shoulders and practically shook him through bright tears.

“I….” Loki tried to speak but he was silenced with a messy kiss.

Dazed, he accepted, barely managing to hold on to Thor as his lips were savaged by the horrid taste of beer and days old filth not masked by a spell. “Thor, that’s disgusting! Stop!” He found his courage and tried to struggle out of his brother’s grip.

Thor’s face fell, “I disappoint you?”  Slightly self-conscious because he knew he’d changed. He knew he wasn’t the way he used to be.

“No!” Loki cried, “No.” He put a hand gently on Thor’s chest, squeezing fleshy soft tissue that hid hard muscles below. “You’re perfect. It’s just,” his nose wrinkled, “when’s the last time you bathed?”

Thor laughed uproariously and let him go. “I can’t believe you’re alive.”

“After all these years and everything I’ve done you can’t believe I’m alive?” Loki gave him an incredulous look.

“Okay,” huffed Thor. “I can’t believe it took you so long to get back to me! I needed you!” He glared.

“I know, I’m sorry. I’m here now.”  Loki gripped Thor’s huge forearm. “Let’s um, let’s get you cleaned up and we can talk.”

Thor scoffed and squished him in a bear hug again.

Loki rested his head on Thor’s shoulder. He wondered why he had been so worried. Had he forgotten Thor’s true heart? He’d wasted so much time. He glanced up and saw the sun peeking in through the window, a new day was lighting up the sky.

He’d been wrong to wait. He’d let Thor get to the state he was in.

It didn’t matter. Loki gazed up at Thor at the look his brother was giving him. “Okay fine, kiss me anyway.”

Forever, for a day, for a year. Loki had finally come home and that was all that mattered. He could handle whatever Thor looked like. Missing an eye, a hand and even without a perfect body, Loki loved his brother, had loved him for a very long time.

The kiss was sweet and tender and over quickly. “So I guess this means you still love me?” Loki swallowed, nervously playing with Thor’s beard.

“I never stopped.” Thor said firmly.

They would be alright here in New Asgard, together again, Loki was sure.  Thanos was gone and he was free. They would talk and be together again. Loki wasn’t sure what that would mean or if the kiss meant more for them, time would tell.

In any case, he smiled finally. “I’m home.”

Thor hugged him tightly.

That was all that mattered, they’d sort out the rest.

**FIN**


End file.
